13 things you should never put up with in a friendship

Posted on November 29th, 2012 by Bongiwe Tshiqi

You love your friends, but are you turning a blind eye to some friendship deal breakers? Here are some things you should never put up with in a friend.  Image Courtesy: Mia Simone Oelofse @art.swg.co.za

1. She’s flaky
A friend is like a bra: she’s supposed to offer support! If your friend doesn’t have your back, then you can’t rely on her. What’s the point of having her as a friend, then?

2. She is only around when it rains
When there are bad times, she’s the first one on the scene. But when good times roll, she vanishes. What’s up? You want a friend who is there for both sunny and cloudy weather!

3. Getting you in trouble
Some people seem to bring loads of drama in your life, and at times this could be serious trouble. You don’t need to have your life turned upside down by someone who thinks it’s okay to bring all the hassles your way.

4. Taking advantage
Your friend needs you to take her places or she’s always asking you to loan her money ‘cause she’s low on funds. It’s cool to help your mate out from time to time, but if it happens constantly then you’re better off without the leech.

5. Making a fool of you
Your friend is cool when you’re alone, but bring a crowd onto the scene and she starts making fun of you in a “jokey” way. She might tell an embarrassing story that happened to you or have a laugh at your expense. You don’t need someone who tries to cut you down to make themselves look bigger.

6. She makes a play for your crush
Yes, you saw him first and yes, you made it super clear that you were interested. So why is your friend trying to weasel her way in and get the guy? Not on. This can be a sign of a bigger problem in your friend: the need to win. Hey, this was supposed to be a friendship, not a competition!

7. She owns the grapevine
You might not hear the blatant gossip that’s going on behind your back, but maybe you get the feeling that your friend is telling others about your private issues. For instance, maybe she’s always gossiping about other close friends so you figure, “Why wouldn’t she do it to me?” Hmm. Keep an eye and ear out. You’re supposed to be able to trust your mates.

8. She steals your man
You were dating a guy and she seemed supportive of the relationship. Of course, that was all a cover so she could try steal him away. Not on! You and your mate might share dessert, but hell no for sharing a dude.

9. She’s not a guarantee
Sometimes she’s there when you need her, other times she’s not. She might promise to do some cool activity with you, but then not show up or tell you she had something else to do. If she’s always dissing on you when better things come around, it makes her unreliable.

10. It’s all about her
It seems to always be about her, from what you talk about when you’re together to what she needs from you. Whatever happened to what you need? Friendships are supposed to be about meeting each other halfway.

11. She never says she’s sorry
It’s always up to you to make amends after an argument because her pride gets in the way. It’s not fair on you and there’s something really troubling about someone who can’t admit when they’re wrong or care enough about you to apologise.

12. You can’t seem to let your guard down
You don’t feel comfortable to be yourself around her ‘cause maybe she criticises you a lot or she just makes you feel like she’s not sincere. You should feel good around your friend, so it’s time to give this one a bit of distance.

13. When your gut keeps saying ‘no way…’
You know that little feeling you get that something is wrong and you just can’t trust your mate? Listen to it. Sometimes that’s your body’s way of trying to tell you that your friend is not good for your life. Who needs the drama?

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