Exams are pretty much over, and whether you’re hitting RAGE or waiting anxiously for the holidays, you are getting your party ON!

Hitting a mad jol at a club can be fun, but if you’re not 18 yet, stick to the under-18 parties please, you don’t want a cop bringing your drunk a** home to your parents at 3am with an official warning – and that’s getting off light (0_0). As much as you can have the time of your life though, you can also spend the last moments of your life there.We’ve all heard the horror stories of girls being raped in clubs and being left for dead, girls who’ve tried drugs that were laced with something bad and ended up dead and worst of all, girls who did nothing wrong but drink a spiked drink. We read in newspapers and magazines of how people have died in car crashes because they decided to drive drunk, or how they killed somebody else driving intoxicated. We hear about people being kidnapped by taxi drivers or strangers who seemed “friendly enough”. We hear about fights breaking out and kids getting stabbed and shot in clubs.

We hear all these horror stories, yet we still go out every weekend and some of us (be honest ladies) get smashed every time and the next day wake up missing a shoe and the bra you were sure you put on before you went out, and think it was a great night out on the town. You can’t be sure though, because you don’t remember a thing.

I’ve done the partying and I’ve seen my friends do even crazier stuff and some awful things have happened to them when they weren’t careful. I thought I’d share some of my basic tips that will help you out no matter what kind of jol you hit.

1. NEVER drink anything a stranger buys for you! Accept it a smile at them, maybe pretend to take a sip if you don’t want to be rude, but when they’re not looking throw it out into a sink or plant or just give it to the barman to get rid of quietly.

2. NEVER drink anything out of a glass. That’s right ladies, which means cocktails and mixes are out, unless they have sippy-cups. Be very careful if you’re taking shots too. Make sure you watch them being poured in front of you, but if I were you I’d avoid them altogether, mixing drinks is bad anyway. Stick to bottles that are opened in front of you, make sure the bottle was still sealed before the barman gives it to you. If you’re drinking booze, have a bottle of water or even a cool drink between every alcoholic beverage as a rule – this will keep you from getting too drunk and also keep you hydrated because alcohol dehydrates you.

3. NEVER go clubbing alone! Any time you are seen dancing alone or standing by yourself in a club or outside, you look like the perfect target to a rapist. Stay in large groups. Hang out with a group of guys if you can (guys that you already KNOW!)

4. NEVER be without comfy shoes! Either wear them or pack them in your bag, but always have a pair of shoes that you know you can dance for hours in. NEVER be caught barefoot in a club! There is always glass and very often needles lying on the floor and you don’t want to be cut open and be bleeding all over anything.

5. ALWAYS have an “emergency number” you can contact if the poop hits the fan! Whether it’s your parents, an uncle, your older brother a family friend or a teacher, always have someone’s number on speed dial who will come bail you out if you end up in a hole. Also be sure you know the number of a private ambulance company (such as Netcare) and the police (10111 for those who have forgotten what we learnt in pre-school) saved on your phone right at the top of your contact list.

6. NEVER accept a lift from a stranger, no matter how friendly or kiff or legit they seem. Just don’t take the risk. I’ve spent some time with sociopaths, and they are the friendliest, most charismatic people you will ever meet. Once the light switch flips though, it’s another story altogether. Have a designated driver friend every night, take turns for who it will be every time you go out. If you’re not old enough to drive, make arrangements BEFORE you go out as to whose parents will come pick you up at what time etc. I don’t recommend making use of a taxi service unless you and your family know the driver personally and trust him to take you home.

7. ALWAYS make sure that your cell phone is fully charged before you go out, and that you have enough airtime to make a few phone calls if the need arises. This is probably the most important tip I can give, because even if you apply all my other advice something might still happen, and then you’ll need your phone in full working order to contact authorities or your “emergency contact”.

Keep these tips in mind when going out and ask your older friends who’ve been clubbing before what advice they have for you too. You don’t want to be caught with your pants around your ankles only to discover there’s no toilet paper (figuratively).

Image Courtesy: cristianecardoso.com