13 signs you’re not ready for a relationship

Posted on February 7th, 2013 by Bongiwe Tshiqi

You might be keen to meet someone new, but are you really ready for a new relationship? Here are some signs you should remain single and stoked for a little while longer.

Image Courtesy: Tylo Lee Verreynne @art.swg.co.za

1. You still think about your ex

These thoughts are not just passing ones – you can’t help but think about the good times or feel down about the break-up. Yep, maybe you’re not over him.

2. You have anger issues towards dudes 

Yes, some guys hurt you in the past and you’re still pretty miffed about it. You can’t really bring all that baggage into a relationship with a new guy, now can you? Take some time out.

3. You’re not done being stoked and single
There’s so much fun to be had and you really don’t wanna waste a moment of it because you have to try fit a guy into your schedule.

4. The suitors are there, but…
They’re just not the types of guys you want and you’re not gonna date just anyone.

5. Your heart lies elsewhere

You might have a crush on someone or have feelings for a guy you’ve been mates with for a while. Better to sort that out before starting out with a clean slate.

6. You’ve got to love yourself first
Before you can enter into a new relationship, you have to make sure that you give yourself love because this translates into self-respect. How can you demand it from others if you’re not giving it to yourself?

7. You give too much
Maybe when you get into a relationship, your whole world becomes about your boyfriend. This isn’t healthy ‘cause you should never let your happiness depend on another person.

8. You’re unhappy with your life
This is never a good reason to get a boy. Rather work on making your life stoked! A boyfriend should be an accessory to your fab life – not the main prize.

9. You wanna be saved
Yes, you dream of being rescued by a dashing prince and his white horse, I mean car. But this is best kept to the fairy tales. In real life it’s so much more empowering to save yourself.

10. You’re bored or want a distraction
Put all your attention on wanting to make your life more exciting.  You definitely don’t need a boy to do that!

11. You don’t know what went wrong in your previous relationships
It’s not a good idea to jump into a new relationship if you haven’t thought about what you’ve learnt from your previous ones. This will just drag all your baggage into a new romantic situation or result in you starting a negative pattern of dating the wrong guys.

12. You go for the wrong guys
Aha, if you’re already in that pattern where you bring home the boys that are not right for you, then it’s best to take some time to figure out what you’re doing wrong. Ditch the drama.

13.  You want a relationship for all the wrong reasons

Sometimes we get swept away by the idea of love, or because it’s cool to have a boy since all your mates want one, or because society demands that you don’t spend Valentine’s Day alone. Rather choose to have a guy because you really want him, not just because you feel you should. Okay?

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