Luurve Advice

Hey
Um...well there's this guy that I like, the problem is that he has liked me for over 2 years but I kept on brushing him off. Boy oh boy but the tables have turned, I like him now and I dunno what I should do. We flirt and stuff but will he still want me after everything I've done to him? I've been hurt so many times before and I'm scared of getting hurt again (which is inevitable coz guys do that) but I neeeeed help A.S.A.P
Thanx so much!
Charne

Go for it! The fact that he still has some kind of relationship with you means that there is still some kind of attraction. Don't be too surprised if he is slightly hesitant when you first bring up the subject. Although boys break our hearts they also have feelings too so his initial reaction might be to save himself from his own heartbreak. Explain to him that you are really into him and want to make it work and ask him to trust you. My guess, he'll be super stoked ;)

Hi Candice
A while ago I met this guy at a school social and we've talked alot since then.
He's a really good friend and thats how I want to keep it, but a few weeks ago he asked me out and I said no..
A few days later the awkwardness wore off and we were talking and stuff again, but a friend told me that he's going to ask me out at his next rugby match..
He's a really nice, but I just don't like him as a boyfriend.
Help?

Gentle Giant.

You are going to have to let him down carefully as no one deals well with a bruised ego. But the fact is, you have to tell him that you're just not that into him.
If you don't then you're being mean and giving him false hope and that's not cool. Repeat after me: "Thanks for the invite but I kinda have my eye on someone else, I'll come with you for sure but maybe I can introduce you to some of my friends and you can help me make my hottie jealous".

There's no confusion then and you can still have him around as friend x

In my short existance, I have been unfortunate enough to come across 4 players. Player 1 broke my heart when I was twelve. Yes, twelve. As angry and upset as I was with him, I am thankful that I can easily spot a player thanks to him. Here are the most common moves made by guys who aren't looking for anything but a bit of fun.

1) Physical Contact: He brushes past you or finds any excuse to touch you. There's a line between using physical contact as a flirting move and using it to lure someone in just for the thrill of it. A player will definitely go way pass this line. Player 1 brushed past me more than necessary. Considering that we were at school, I'm pretty sure that there was enough space for him to move around- without brushing past me.

2)Cliched Much: He uses cliched phrases like "your eyes are beautiful", "it's your smile that pulls me to you". Player 3 tried this on me. Unfortunately I burst out laughing. This didn't offend him. He simply moved on to his next target. A guy who is genuinely interested would not use cliched phrases and you'd be able to see that he is being sincere when he says something.

3) All For One And One For All: Watch how a player is around other girls. If he can find a girl who is wild enough, he'll move on to her since she's easier and she entertains him. He also uses the same moves on every girl he hits on. If you want to check, subtly ask the girl about what they were talking about or let her tell you herself. E.g "I saw you talking to that guy. He's such a goofball." Chances are she'll agree with you before spilling the beans.

4)Honesty is The Best Policy: Sometimes a player will confess to lying and cheating. He'll say that the reason he is telling you this is because there's something about you that just makes him want to change. Yeah, right. A cliched phrase once again.

5)I Think I'm Falling For You: A player falls hard and he falls easily. There are three words that leave their lips as fast as lightning. Player 1 told me in our first conversation that he loved me-let me recap, WE WERE TWELVE!!!- while Player 2 told me in our third. Player 3 and 4 tell me that all the time. My response to them is to smile brightly and say," Aw. I love you too." This brings about them insisting that really they do. Of course they do. They were just flirting with that girl for fun. I'm really The One for them. Two guys and one girl? I am not a big fan of threesomes but thanks.

6)Moving Back And Forth: Player 2 tried to hit on a pal of mine. She pretended that she wasn't interested because she saw him hitting on someone else. Suddenly, out of the blue, Player 2 fell "in love with me". This wasn't a surprise to me since whenever he flirted with her, he would look at me and smile. (Another player move- hitting on on gal, smiling at another) Needless to say, my friend was hurt. Player 3 tried the same trick but from me, he moved to my friend and back again to me.

7) Talks Continuously About His Relationships: This was something that all four of the guys had in common. They all spoke(uncaringly, let me add) about their past and present relationships. I know every girl that Player 1 dated. Player 2 liked older girls(umm.EEWW), Player 3 lied to many girls but he honestly loved me and Player 4 always spoke about the things he bought/ did for his girlfriend. If you know about this guy's love life, more than necessary, he's definitely either a player or a blabbermouth.

8) What Are You Looking For: Classic Player Move. He will always want to know what you look for in a guy. He may ask you casually but he's actually planning his next disguise.

9) Hot And Cold: A player will be in love with you and then the next minute he's suggesting that you guys have an open relationship. He's actually trying to retain as much of his freedom as possible, while still having you as a back-up.

If a guy shows 4 or more of these signs, chances are he's a player. Dump him and get as far away as possible from him.

You: So what did you get up to last night?
Him: Not much.
You: Me neither. It's kinda weird coz so and so said she saw you at such and such.
Him: Grunt, ummmmmm, oh ja. I did go to such and such for a bit but it was really crappy so I came home early.
You: Oh, coz so and so also said she saw you with some blonde girl ‘talking' for hours.
Him: Whatever. I was there for like a Mila second are you really going to believe so and so? I gotta go but I'll call you later. You are the best.

Rumours should never be taken for fact but shouldn't be ignored, look at what happened to poor Sandra Bullock. The chances are if he is going to lie he's going to lie big and most times you'll be the last to find out. Unfortunately there's no full proof plan but usually your women instinct will kick in and you'll know straight away when something's up. Don't expect him to lie and question him like the fun sheriff us girls can be sometimes. Trust his "real man" instinct to kick in where he'll respect you too much to treat you like a fool. If there's still some dodgy stories doing the rumor mill with no real solid explanations kick the player to the curb!

Oprah has done this show year in and year out. Decades of women empowerment have gone by and still us ladies just never seem to learn. It's time to get all Dr Phil up in heerre! "If he doesn't feel the same way as you do, then you're wasting your time, get the hell out of there"!

And it's the truth, it hurts like hell but in all honesty (and be truly honest) what hurts more is your ego, not the fact that you might lose him. It's humbling to know that someone does think you're fabulous and want to spend every waking moment with you, it's a huge blow but the truth is there is someone out there who does. If you keep wasting your time with the wrong people, you're never going to find the right people for you life.
Dr Phil, over and out.

You're not sure how you feel about a guy. He's really fun to talk to. He always pays you attention and calls when he says he will but he's "just not your type".

The truth is, you're just not that into him. You've all seen the movie. It's totally unfair to lead people on. If he understands that you're just friends and that's as far as it's going, then cool. But if he has the slightest inclination that there might be a chance one day and you feed it with a tap on the shoulder here and kiss on the cheek there, then you're just being one of those players that most girls cry about. Yuk!

The next additon to the Twilight movies is Eclipse, coming out in June, so we just had to include this trailer for your viewing pleasure of Jake and Edward! :)

So you're at a party and your new boyfriend's ex pops up.

It's almost like biting into a stale biscuit and may make you want to vomit a little bit, you know the feeling!  The trick is to muster up your best fake smile and try find it within you to bust out a ‘hey, how are you doing? Nice to see you'. Keep it short, keep it simple but make sure you do the right thing. No one likes a biatch.

Need to get something off your chest? Need someone to give you some love advice? Need to know how boys tick? Mail you questions to sam@swg.co.za with the subject "Love Advice," and SWG will help you find the answer! That's what we are here for! :)

luv, Marize

Hi Marize,

Breaking up with someone and still having feelings for them is inevitable.
Usually those feelings fade away with time or when the next hottie comes along but when you stay friends with your ex it's a lot harder to let go. You can try lying to yourself, telling yourself that you're just really good friends and you're so close to him and you love that. But you need to face the facts, you're still have romantic feelings for him. Otherwise you wouldn't be jealous of his budding relationship with your BFF.

You have one option really, speak up or you always going to be second best!
Tell him that you still have a little something for him and ask him how he feels. If you guys are as close as you say then this type of conversation will come up easily. Try catch hm on his own, when he is not in a hurry and when you 2 can really be yourselves and say what you need to.

Remember guys aren't good at talking about their emotions so don't expect an Dr Phil session but you'll be able to gather where you stand after a few 'ummms' and 'grunts'. If he doesn't feel the same, no biggie. Take a step back and let go of all that stuff you're holding onto. There's another hottie lurkning around but you've been so caught up you haven't noticed him yet. If he does want to be your someone special then goodie! But be sure to break it to your BFF lightly. Chances are she probably already knows somethings up.

Frienship is all about being honest with each other and if you hide behind walls of pretense then it's not worth it at all ; )

Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes has not only been a hit on the film circuit, but now on the fashion runways too, it seems!

A look that is being dubbed "Holmesian," it is an elementary combination of sleuth sophistication and nostalgic vintage. Expect to see lots of tweeds, vest, capes, hats, textures and pocket watches surfacing in stores soon.

So while one cannot deny the pleasure of seeing Robert Downey Jr. in this film, there has definitely been trends set off by it!

Robert Downey Jr.

Something for both the men and ladies.